Another Autism "Story" -- Jenny McCarthy

I am in the grocery store line, and yes, I heard that Jenny went on Oprah to talk about how diet and biomed "cured" her autistic child (who still flaps by the way). "Fighting for her Autistic Son," says the People Magazine headline. My stomach clenches. Oh no, I should be used to this by now, I think. Another "devastating" article that talks about autism as a disease -- that can be cured with medications and therapies. I sigh. I reluctantly buy it -- like a compulsion. I would prefer to ignore it. I can't.

The story starts off the same. Every parent is shocked, worried, faces fear. The beginnings of our stories are almost always universal, and there is nothing wrong in stating how something effects us. But, in the article, it doesn't really stop. We see the loving pictures -- son and mum look happy. Is this to show that you can love your child and still hate autism? Or is this to show that her son is "cured?" I am cringing while reading the saga, and the way its told -- could be People Magazine's fault in part. It is a gossip magazine, after all.

But here's where it really got to me. The interviewer asks about her relationship with Jim Carrey: "What about having children together?" To which she replies:

"[Exhaling] Let me take a drink of water on this. I'm done having children. I always thought I'd have at least four or five. But I got my a-- kicked."

Well I'm sorry, Jenny. You really lost me there.What do you think all the autistic adults think about that statement? Did you consider how you made an entire group of people FEEL? How would you like your mother to say that with you, she got her "a-- kicked?"

As a mom with five children, and four of them step children, they are a blessing. Adam is a gift and everyone of his brothers and sisters will agree. You can read Max's take on Adam in an essay he wrote nearly two years ago now: From Adam's World To Mine. Max is now a one-to-one for older autistic children at camp.

Adam has made our lives richer by showing us that we can, without difference and disability, often be living in our own little worlds, our boxes, our arrogance. Our willingness to open up to possibilities, and to learn from Adam and other like him, enables him to succeed and us to become larger. Adam is beginning to speak sentences, even though he does not speak much, and other days can't speak at all. He can spell, he is aware, and he is --God forbid -- autistic. Jenny's child is the same age as Adam. Adam could not do many of the things his same-aged peers did when he was two. But yes, even autistic kids grow and learn with love and support. Adam has had lots of support, but not always the typical kind we hear about. We struggled to find ways that specifically HE would benefit from -- and we had to weed through various therapies and therapists to make it work. Today, his teachers are commenting that he can do many things that the other kids cannot! While I agree with support, I also know that autistic kids learn which is why, at five, we might be hearing that kids are "cured," when they really are still autistic and learning.

As I said, I have no issues with parents who want to relay difficulties and challenges and be honest with how they feel. I do have difficulty in preaching unfounded methods, insulting a community of people by stating autism is "horrible," without qualifying that "horror" -- is it really within the person who says it? Perhaps this reflects a need for more self-reflection instead of blame.

I am also uncomfortable with separating autism from the person -- because while there are challenges in being any kind of minority, in this case a person with a disability, we should not undermine individuals just because they have a disability. We have to acknowledge that human experience is, in part, defined by who and what we are. I see parents who always want to separate that -- autism is just a label. Of course we are more than our "label." Yet it's more complex than this. The architecture of our lives is effected by both our environments and the way we were born. So why are people really saying this? Because they believe autism is awful? Because they are afraid of the stigma? I am always curious why people think they can separate autism completely from the person. We can't take deafness away from the deaf person and the way deafness influences their experience the world. We can't do it for blindness, physical or any other disability.

Now, let me conclude that I wonder if Jenny would still have children if she saw this video: Neurotypicalism Every Day by Christschool. Of course, it is a response to Autism Every Day, the unfortunate and poorly thought-out Autism Speaks' video. It just goes to show that if you put a certain kind of lens on something, you can yield a certain kind of result. Typical children look "horrible" to me here. They have melt-downs and geez -- parents get divorced over them. If I saw this video, I would NEVER want to have a neurotypical child: