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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Writer/Curator/Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Contributing Author to Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood, and Concepts of Normality by Wendy Lawson, and soon to be published Gravity Pulls You In. Writing my own book. Lecturer on autism and the media and parenting. Current graduate student Critical Disability Studies and most importantly, mother of Adam -- a new and emerging writer.

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.” -- Baruch Spinoza

Thursday, May 15, 2008

 

Emboldened By Many Silences



I had my second surgery a little sooner than expected due to a lot of pain. Here I am last mother's day in the hospital. I am at home, tired now. Groggy as I write.

Audre Lorde said, "what I most regretted was my silences." She wrote about feminism and her breast cancer, and I too believe that staying silent is NOT useful when we have so much we have to learn and share with one another. "What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies that swallow you day by day and attempt to make your own, until you sicken and die of them, still in silence?"

I try to test my silence and put it on the loud speaker.

Today I write:

The leaves of spring begin to glitter
the warm sun across my face
I try to heal under it
my womanhood taken
fear forsaken

I am more a woman today
than I was with a womb
more a woman today
with delicate crepe lines
weaving my hands that still work
more passionate today
than when I screwed to be loved

The sun bakes me and I rise
to learn
to heal
all the wounds
of a young woman

I rise to walk bravely
towards the power of this newer, older one.

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And now for a little ditty:

5 Comments:

Blogger Maya M said...

Best wishes!

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"When I dare to be powerful,to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." Wishing you a speedy recovery.Keep writing!

TOF

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes when we need comfort, we are most alone. Estee, I think of you and have all the hope that everything will turn your way.

CS

8:51 PM  
Blogger Steve D said...

Feel better soon, Estee!

11:31 PM  
Blogger Ange said...

much support, and I agree, keep writing!

4:09 PM  

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