This Is What It's All About

I am compelled to share a paper that landed on my computer this morning written by my 16-year old step-son, Max:

Adam's World to Mine
By: Max Wolfond

I was thirteen years old and preparing for my Bar Mitzvah (Jewish ceremony into manhood) at my desk when I heard yelling from the room down the hall. My heart began to pound, as it often does when I hear panic. Moments later I heard my step-mom Estee scream "My water broke!" At an instant my dumbfound face turned immediately to a smile. She was rushed to the hospital by dad and a mere eight hours later, Adam was born. Unlike my clever response at age three when my sister was born, "I knew it was going to be a boy or a girl," when I first saw Adam I was speechless. I had never been so happy to see a baby cry in my entire life. I don't know if I realized it consciously or subconsciously, but at that moment, I knew my life would change forever.

About a year and a half later people began to notice things. Adam was not making eye-contact like most 18-month old babies, nor was he socialable as the other kids in his nursery. It became somewhat of a concern to the family and to Estee especially. I cam home from school one cold December afternoon to find Estee struggling to hold back tears. She told me that Adam had been diagnosed with autism. At the time I was not exactly sure just what autism was, although I had known somebody at camp who was autistic. I did my best to show sympathy for my dad and Estee by saying I was `sorry.' So life went on and Estee began to hire therapists to work with Adam. She hired two therapists who worked closely with him, on basic skills such as interaction as well as trying to stengthen his verbal and non-verbal communication skills. At about one, my brother Adam took a keen interest in letters. Soon, he could recite the whole alphabet and identify letters at random. He could also count to twenty.

Adam is now three and two-thirds old and is working with a therapist daily as well as attending Nursery School for half the day. He has a very busy life and no doubt keeps Estee and my dad's lives busy as well. Adam is now able at less than four years of age to read a number of words and write the letters of the alphabet. He is very compassionate and gives a hug to just about every friendly face he sees. Like any kid his age his favourite foods are pizza and chocolate. Something as simple as jugging can make him smile and laugh, and often cause him to burst into song. When he hurts himself (bumps his head or falls), it takes all of thirty seconds to put a smile back on his little face. He is the most loving and happy three-year-old I have met to-date.

I find "Adam's world" to be the most intriguing of anyone in our family or any of my friends. This is not to say I love him any more than the rest of my siblings or my parents, but his interaction with others is more fascinating than most people I have met without autism. The goals of the work Adam is doing with Estee and the therapists have changed since he started. Where as the initial goal of the therapists and our family was to "cure" Adam of autism, it is now quite the opposite. We believe that it is not Adam who needs to be cured, rather, our society who needs to be cured of its phobia of difference. Society needs to learn to accept people for who they are, not who they want them to be. Our new goal is to try to get a better understanding of Adam's way of thinking and how he sees the world, to better the way we can interact with him. I feel people around can learn from Adam and learn other things from other's with autism. A common misconception and assumption people make is that all people with autism have the same problems and same strengths as one another. In truth just like all human beings, people with autism spectrum disorder are all extremely unique. Techniques we use to help Adam may be different than the ones to help "Sue," but the primary goal remains the same: Acceptance.

On April 11, 2002, the stork dropped off a helluva gift. My baby brother has given me so much love and happiness, and so much to learn. I am certain he will gain abilities that will take him on an endless path of success in his life and I pray people will be able to see past the word often put in front his name: Autism. The uniqueness he possesses will show the world that "they" are not all the same, and are wonderful people too. The initial tears on my step-mother's face the day she got the news have quickly turned to tears of joy. Adam is growing into a sensitive yet strong human being. He is to me a brother, a friend, and a teacher, and I am certain my life could never have been so great without my younger brother Adam.

Could a brother and an old step-mom be any luckier? Can a sixteen-year-old change the world?