What I've Learned So Far

In my recent quest to ask some lingering questions about autism, I've learned that all parents love their children and the journey with autism is a complex and emotional one.

I think there is a point here for all activists, even to those who are autistic, in fighting for equality. The emotional journey this is for parents is significant and shouldn't be underestimated for the sake of philosophy. Sometimes, the fight becomes more important than the person, and when this happens, we have to reconsider the position from which we argue. I think parents deserve all the kudos in the world for doing everything they can for their kids with autism. As long as we all have an open mind and an open heart, our kids will thrive. Children thrive on love. (disclaimer: sometimes parents do things out of "love" for their kids that are medically dangerous -- I will never agree with parents on that).

In respecting parents, emotions, feelings, (I have my moments), when we have the energy, the arguments for equal rights for the disabled, I believe, are still vital ones in order to obtain the respect and concessions our kids will need. We may debate a great many issues, but let us never judge one another through a blog -- we can never know how people live, in what circumstances, and just as much as we have to respect the rights of people with autism, we have to respect the work of the people who parent them.

I've been debating what to write this past day or so -- what it means to write a blog (a self-gratutitous act, notes for my book, sharing with a community), and have come to the conclusion it is all of that. I may be wrong, I may be right, I may provoke to the point of annoyance, but in sharing all of our words, the point of this, for me, is to learn. And I must say, many of you are helping (read Zilari's response to my request to write on "How and What to Teach" -- thank you so much, Zilari!! (see PartProcessing in sidebar). As a parent, I am no expert on what it feels like to be autistic -- from a social discriminatory sense, from a sensory perspective, but I can be an advocate for my son and continue to try and work for his best interests. I AM, however, an expert in what this feels like for me, and how incredibly insensed I become at anything that smells of discrimination, or alludes that my son is less than human, normal, because he is autistic.

I will continue to have many questions -- I will debate and provoke standards, systems and popular thinking because it is important for ME on MY journey -- I'm very interested in the rights of the disabled, a movement which has only surfaced recently despite an enormous international disabled population. The next questions I will have when I get home from Florida is the construction of "normalcy," a construct that is as recent as the mid-1800's. Also, I am interested in PreRainManAutism's (see sidebar for link) posts on anthropology and autism, which puts a lot of today's hype into focus.

So for what it's worth, as I suffer from a migraine and consider the burdens I often feel in the face of what may lie ahead for us, despite debates, my heart is with every fellow parent out there.