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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Writer/Curator/Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Contributing Author to Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood, and Concepts of Normality by Wendy Lawson, and soon to be published Gravity Pulls You In. Writing my own book. Lecturer on autism and the media and parenting. Current graduate student Critical Disability Studies and most importantly, mother of Adam -- a new and emerging writer.

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.” -- Baruch Spinoza

Sunday, December 25, 2005

It's Christmas Day and Adam has gone for a long walk with grandma. We are off to Florida tomorrow to see Bubby and Zaida. I know Adam will love it. Now that I've taken him off milk, I notice a difference in his language again. He is speaking more and is much more attentive and intentional in his communicative gestures. Either it's just a coincidence or it's the milk that aggravated him. I'm letting him relax this week -- enjoy the sounds and smells of the ocean, the feel of the sun.It is so grey and damp here in Toronto -- it also dampens the spirit.

I was up until 4 a.m. last night. My head keeps spinning. This time I was thinking about how much all of this therapy costs us a year, and all the other families who struggle to afford it. My girlfriend, whose child is recently diagnosed ADD, is going to put her son on Ritalin. After all her research, she determined that it was the best thing for him. She said to me, "imagine if Adam could take a pill in the morning..." I did imagine it. It did seem easier. I admit it. If it would make him less confused about his envrionment, then I imagine he would want it. I don't know. These issues, and the bioethical ones I've been thinking about, are not easy.

Our kids need the therapy. Our kids need the research. Autism is the most underfunded area of research, yet it effects so many children. While debating many of the issues, I never want to undermine the research -- it helps us understand the functions of the brain, autism, and if we are wise, we must always struggle with issues surrounding tolerance and disabiltiy, ability...

Adam is doing great again. He has figured out how to jump from high surfaces into the pool or into beanbags -- something he could not do before. He is speaking more and I am determined to help him to read more -- as he does it naturally and I believe this is a gateway to more learning for him.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are amazing

5:40 PM  

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