The Robin In The Window

There is a robin that keeps banging into our window. For nearly a month now, it must be, but I’ve really noticed it lately. I thought the robin would be gone by now, failing to get into the house. Perhaps, I thought, he sees something he wants to get to in here, or more eerily, as Margaret Laurence once said in her novels “a bird in the house means death in the house.” Is some kind of death knocking at our door?

I heed "hidden" messages.

I am beginning to get worried about the bird. He seems no less affected by his beak-banging. I considered that something might be “wrong” with the bird. But knowing better, I turned to google to look up the meaning of the behaviour.

Birds, particularly robins, repeatedly bang into windows because they see their reflection. They are trying to fight the “other” bird for the territory. It’s perfectly understandable given the bird’s perspective. And then, I came to think about the irony of my interpretation: of fighting against our own shadows and came across the term egophrenia as I found written by Paul Levy: [It is the ] ‘ME disorder,’ for short. If ME disorder goes unrecognized and is not contained, it can be very destructive, particularly if the person is in a position of power." (Please note that I do not agree with how he makes references to "illnesses" in his article, but the over-riding idea of it is interesting in the context I have quoted here).

Apparently President Bush is egophrenic. I would venture a guess that he is somewhat delusional, and a collective manifestation of the way North Americans have come to think about their place in the world. We see it in everything, including autism advocacy. We have come to live the big lie, chasing the perceived enemy, that which lies outside of ourselves because we no longer want to take responsibility for what we do and how we contribute to injustice and the world in which we live. Autism Speaks is egophrenic and not self-reflective in the least at the moment. It is but one example.

We fight what we create. We fight ourselves, as the robin does its own reflection. If a polemic gets created, it does so with the creation of an “us” and a “them.” Fighting autism, fighting in the name of getting children services by creating an evil which is the other– the evil which is our own true reflection.

The robin reminds me of pushing myself constantly to avoid kitsch and rhetoric -- to consider myself as contributing to the polemic. The robin reminds me that what is out there is me. It is us.

Now what do I have to do to change it? What about all of us?