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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Writer/Curator/Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Contributing Author to Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood, and Concepts of Normality by Wendy Lawson, and soon to be published Gravity Pulls You In. Writing my own book. Lecturer on autism and the media and parenting. Current graduate student Critical Disability Studies and most importantly, mother of Adam -- a new and emerging writer.

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.” -- Baruch Spinoza

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

 

Shifting Direction

I thought that posting Madeline Kahn's I'm Tired video might not be fully appropriate, but I can't get it out of my head. So, when I get a little tired of debates that shift the direction away from Adam, I turn back to him. He is my solace and my direction when debates rage and others try to convince us that our children are "hopeless," or reporters cheapen the discourse by "parsing complex realities into [simple] divisions of two." -- Stephen Jay Gould


There is nothing simple about Adam, or his humanity and existence as an autistic person. So I am back to celebrating (not that I ever stop when it comes to my child). Readers may notice my blog always sways from disturbing trends in society back to the joy of being.

"To appreciate children as gifts is to accept them as they come, not as objects of our design, or products of our will, or instruments of our ambition. Parental love is not contingent on talents and attributes the child happens to have. We choose our friends and spouses at least partly on the basis of qualities we find attractive. But we do not choose our children. Their qualities are unpredictable, and even conscientious parents cannot be held wholly responsible for the kind of child they have. That is why parenthood, more than other human relationships, teaches what the theologian William F. May calls an 'openness to the unbidden.'" -- The Case Against Perfection, Michael J. Sandel.


It's rather cool to watch Adam, and consider my role in his life as his rock and maybe his guide, perhaps for a time, but also capable of achieving and growing on his own:

1 Comments:

Anonymous -Brian- said...

From the quote by Gould, "parsing comlex realities into [simple]divisions of two", I am reminded again of the dualism that is so prevalent in all walks of life.

Why all the emphasis on two? Is there nothing but day and ight? What ever happened to dawn as dusk? The same could be said of any "opposites" in that, for those who just see the two, they seem to be ignoring the "complex realities" that extend far beyond two, and cannot justifiably be reduced to two, just for simplicity.

When you, Estee, turn back to Adam, you are not seeing two, but one, albeit complex, reality before you, but that one reality is far more solid than any of those approaches to life that emphasize and elevate the dualistic approaches to life.

Why can't we start referring to one for a change--one that encompasses all the fractions below it? I feel the answer lies in us not having anything to "compare" one to, and without a "comparison" we are left in a void.

However, once the one as seen as not needing any comparison, at all, the joy starts to flow, and the numerological basis of thinking start to cease and desist from occupying our minds 24 hours a day. We look upon on living connection to one, which is different for each one of us, and for a moment (however short) we seem to be with "the one" in the non-comparison/non-competitive side of life, with joy at the helm.

11:14 AM  

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