Animal In Translation

Our dog’s name is vagina. Oh my yes it’s true. We found out a couple of months ago while eating my in-laws place in Florida. They have a fellow who helps them out from the Philippines. He broke the whole roasted chicken with his hands before he cut it into pieces, his hands glistening with fat. My brother-in-law asked what we were going to name our new puppy.

“Kiki,” said Henry.

Holding his wet fingers in front of him so as not to get anything marked with the fat, Berardo, the man from the Philippines, could barely contain himself, not wanting to interrupt the family conversation.

My brother-in-law noticed.“What’s so funny,” he asked.

Berardo hesitated in between his giggles, not sure if he should say what was on his mind. We began to laugh with him, ignorant, but curious as to what was so funny.

“In my language, Kiki means vagina,” he giggled shyly.

Well that was plenty of fodder for my two brothers-in-law -- this perilous world of language, translations and meaning. It makes me wish I'd research the name a little more, 'cause now it is forever on my mind. But it doesn't change her -- the fact that she is still an innocent, beautiful dog.

“It would be like if you came to my country and called your dog, pussy,” Berardo elaborated.

Ah well. It’s still a cute name for a dog. But it gives a whole new meaning now when I say “Kiki come!”