A Person's A Person...

Since Adam has started typing, it's hard for me to write on this blog. What do you say to a little boy who says upon my return from a night away:

"Glad you return."

"Why are you glad mommy has returned," I ask, wondering what he will say.

"because hell forgets boy."

What do you say to that -- a boy who understands what the world is for him, or perhaps makes of him.

What do you say to a boy, not yet six, who refers to his peers as "loquacious" or that "talking is oppressive."?

What can I say to all my theories about Adam when they no longer are theories but are real with each typed letter?

No longer do I have to speculate what letters mean to him -- the fact that he loves the letter A which makes him feel "euphoric," or of his affable nature that recently revealed that "jokes are a staple for the atmosphere." Thank goodness his sense of humour is greater than mine!

What do we make of "autistic behaviour" when Adam, who has explained that when he gets ill, the reason for his constant movement is because it "makes me feel normal," -- a word many of you know that I find relative, but which is his version of normal, meaning, not ill.

What do you say when your son tells you, his baby teeth just falling out behind those still cherub cheeks just beginning to thin, "i feel numbers," but to sit and wait for more?

You see, I am waiting now, which has slowed me down a bit. Adam has begun to email his half-siblings, telling them what he did in his day. He is beginning to use the computer to communicate with others, and as for sharing his words, I must obtain his consent. So, while he can type now, I question where we all have to draw the line. What is the difference between advocating for our children and what we can talk about in public? I liken it to talking about our children with utmost respect for their right to privacy -- that not everything they say and do is for public consumption. It is why I take issue with parents who talk about how their children "hit" them in public to display autism as something terrible. (this is a special note to that certain Ontarian who ambushed me on CFRB during the Joy of Autism: Redefining Ability and Quality of Life event...how perfectly timed was that "hitting" for radio?)

Now, I've tried to be careful in the past, but certainly I am thinking of this more now -- if I ever crossed that line and what a shame it is to only be waiting for verbal or written consent. I think I always have tried to represent Adam and autism with pride. That has been the point of this blog.

I know also that we parents talk like we would at kaffee clatches, reaching out and yearning for support as we figure out how to raise and accept the special literacy -- behaviour, idiosyncratic communication and all -- of our autistic children. We have gathered together for mutual support, but I think that consent piece, that piece where no one is too little to be respected, needs to be thought about again and again and again.

For as Horton says (Adam's favorite book of late), "a person's a person no matter how small." What about, a person's also a person no matter how autistic or disabled??

You see, autism is not on display here -- if you want that, tune into Larry King Live where Jenny McCarthy, Jerry Kartzinel and Toni Braxton go.

No, our pride for who we are is simply worn on our sleeve.

Small people, all people should be proud and I may ask Adam write a review on the Horton Hears a Who movie which comes out this weekend.