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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Writer/Curator/Founder of The Autism Acceptance Project. Contributing Author to Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood, and Concepts of Normality by Wendy Lawson, and soon to be published Gravity Pulls You In. Writing my own book. Lecturer on autism and the media and parenting. Current graduate student Critical Disability Studies and most importantly, mother of Adam -- a new and emerging writer.

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.” -- Baruch Spinoza

Friday, September 23, 2005

 
It's been a week now that I've had pneumonia, so I have time to write this. It amazes me how much the building of our new house and taking care of Adam has really taken its toll. More the house than Adam. Adam is a passion. The house is lovely and at times, fun, but this and that needs to be finished, workers always need to be prodded. I am thinking that my life should become simpler, that going back to the friends who actually care about me is what matters. I've had so little time for making connections, having coffee with people who mean something to me. Instead it's always about the to-do lists -- a disease that inflicts most of us and I believe effect our children, espeically our children with autism. I am investigating now how autism is largely a social construct. Will talk more about this later on.

I saw a round table hosted by the Dalai Lama on the CBC with representatives from all religions, including Bishop Desmond Tutu. I didn't catch the whole program, but what struck me was their humanity, their humility. That's what I respect. I also respect those from all factions who can get together and talk only to find, that we are all pretty much the same.

I have converted to three religions in my life, and I've had enough religion to know that I'll never be religious. But I'll be inherently interested in the universal messages. For this reason, I am interested in philosophy.

I am sick and I haven't seen Henry much all week...Last night he went to the hockey game with his buddy in from Montreal who is helping shoot a film here -- I prodded Henry to get the footage of his 93 year-old grandmother -- the story of her life. I wanted to book the film crew for his birthday and I'm glad he is finally taking the time out of his schedule to document her stories and memories -- it will be so important in the years to come. One life is so rich and active and before we know it, as Joan Didion says, "you sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends." Every life deserves to be documented and remembered. So, my parents are helping Adam and I out while Henry is doing this.

In the meantime, I must simplify my life for me and for the sake of Adam. He is such a happy, delightful little boy and when I feel remotley down, I just think of his face. He is everything I live for. Life doesn't seem that full when it's all about acquiring things for the house, and organizing all day long. Life is more full when one is invested in things one is passionate about. Reading a good book, seeing a great play or movie, having a great hour with my son...all of those moments are infused with more meaning. Life is about experience. I've had so little of that.

Blog and Blaa sound much the same. This is what this sounds like, but hey, this ain't literature I'm writing here. If you want to read it, so be it. If it's crap, move on.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog! You should write a book about your experience.

12:41 PM  

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